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I just heard that the local paper here, the Virginian Pilot, has dropped syndicated columnist, Michelle Malkin, for being too "anti-liberal." Funny, but the reason I dropped my subscription to the Virginian Pilot was that it is too "anti-conservative."

The article I read stated that Marvin Lake received a written complaint about Ms. Malkin's column and Mr. Lake said that she would be dumped from the paper. Is that all it takes, Marvin? Good. Because consider this my written complaint about the rest of that left-leaning, excrement-dripping, not-fit-to-wrap-a-fish-in newspaper!!!!

Your daily paper runs contradictory to the mindset of the majority of your potential readership. You want to know why you are experiencing falling readership? It' s the slant, Marvin! You insist on spinning every story, regardless of how benign, in the liberal left direction. You can't just report the facts and let the reader do his own spinning - you just have to spin it to the left!

Here's some more written complaints, Marvin: Dump Maureen Dowd. She's offensive and too liberal. Dump Kristof. Too liberal. Dump Molly "Hatchet Job" Ivins, too. Not as you have put it, "dropped as a regular," but dropped outright! She's so left wing she makes John Kerry look conservative!

Maybe, just maybe if you could dump these leftists, I might consider reading your rag again. But here are some more suggestions to improve the quality of the Virginian Pilot:

• Fire Don Luzzatto
• Fire Bronwyn Lance Chester
• Fire Roger Chesley
• Fire Dennis Hartig
• Fire yourself, Marvin

I've been the victim of your hatchet jobs in the past, editting my letter to the editor before you published it. The result barely resembled what I wrote. That's not reporting. That's spinning. You can write all the op-ed pieces you want back-slapping yourself and the rest of the chaps that I have recommended for firing. I grew up here in this area. I've watched the Virginian Pilot, especially after the demise of the Ledger Star, turn more and more liberal over the years.

The only thing that I've heard truthful from the Pilot's op-ed nazis was Dennis Hartig's response to a conservative reader:

“There’s no left-wing conspiracy at The Pilot editorial page any more than I believe there is a right-wing conspiracy in America.”

But Dennis, you do believe there is a right-wing conspiracy in America. So what does that fact do to the rest of your carefully crafted statement? See, I told you so.