The Bill of Rights - 2005 Version

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion unless it is anything other than Judaism or Christianity, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof unless it is Judaism or Christianity; or abridging the freedom of leftist speech, or of the leftist press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble as long as it is for a leftist cause, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

Well, we’ll have no more of that nonsense.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated. You are guaranteed that much…

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. The People does not include anyone with a Social Security Number. If you have one, this Paragraph doesn’t apply to you.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. States? People? Who the hell do they think they are? Remember, the North won the war so there are no more States Rights, only consolidated power in the Federal Government. People? See Amendment IX for the exemption from inclusion of the People.

Unless we realize that our rights are being incrementally eroded on a daily basis, it won't matter who is sitting on the Supreme Court or who is in the White House or anywhere else in a position of power. Somewhere in the past 140 years, we lost our way and forgot the principles upon which the country was founded. First, and foremost, is the principle that the Government exists by our consent and for no other reason. Secondly, we have accepted the severely erroneous concept that the Constitution is a "living" document and is open to contemporary interpretation.

As a result of this path we are on, we find ourselves with the semi-tongue-in-cheek version of the Bill of Rights that I have described above. When anyone raises the issue of civil rights being violated, does anyone ever consider that those civil rights are any of the rights enumerated in the Bill of Rights? That it's not just about Freedom of Speech, Expression, Religion, Assembly, and Due Process and Protection from Self-incrimination? Has anyone ever considered that violating anything in the Bill of Rights constitutes a civil right violation?

Then why have we allowed Amendent II to be incessantly violated? Does it not state that the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed? Where in the 2nd Amendment does it say that you are only allowed to keep and bear certain types of arms? Where does it say how many you can have?

Oh, but Sniper, you say, guns kill people and are used in the commission of violent crimes! I challenge you with this thought: can any of our rights be misused to commit a crime and even cause death? I believe you will find that virtually anything associated with mankind can be perverted into a means of death. Speech can lead to actions that will cause death. Religious expression can often lead to death (Remember Jim Jones? Remember Marshall Applewhite?) News stories have lead to violent reprisals (remember the unsubstantiated reports of abuse at Gitmo and the violence that ensued overseas?) Why does the 2nd Amendment bear the brunt of the assaults on our rights?

Perhaps those that wish to curtail our rights have recognized a fact that the rest of us have failed to see: while no part of the Bill of Rights is any more important than any other, if the 2nd Amendment goes, what can we as Americans ever do to reverse the assault on the rest of the Bill of Rights? We will be able to freely assemble, talk about it, pray about it, but we'll no longer be able to fight to preserve it. Our civil rights are being violated.