An Open Letter to the TSA Baggage Screeners

Dear TSA Baggage Screener,

I appreciate the job you have been tasked to do. I fly often and have no desire to become a victim of any terrorist action. Thank you for making my travel safer.

On the other hand, I know that in helping you accomplish your mission, I must submit my personal items to your scrutiny. I do so only because it is mandated by law. I do, however, take exception with having my baggage left unlocked.

You see, I took the time to purchase a TSA-friendly padlock for all of my luggage in hopes of aiding you in your mission and maintaining some semblance of discretion and security with my personal items. The TSA-friendly padlock is one for which I alone have the combination and you, the TSA screener, have a key.

This would seem to be a very amicable arrangement for both you and I as it allows both of us to accomplish our ends.

This, however, seems to be a problem for you. I just returned from yet another trip only to find that the TSA padlock that I had so dutifully placed on my luggage to secure it was now no longer securing my luggage. Oh, the lock was still there but it was not locking anything.

So the personal items that I have entrusted to you were now easy pickings for anyone else that so desired to rummage through them. Fortunately for me, this was a routine business trip and I did not place anything of value in my luggage because I have no doubt that it would not have completed the journey home.

I ask you, don’t you people get it? This kind of incident only lends credence to the critics that claim that baggage screening is a big waste of time and not worth the effort. If you can overlook something as obvious as re-securing a lock onto a passenger’s luggage, what are the odds that you will miss something less obvious but more deadly?

Not only that, even if your failure to relock the luggage was just an honest mistake, what of the dozen or so baggage handlers that will have access to the contents? I know, historically, that unlocked luggage and baggage handlers are a bad combination. Some of your more valuable items won’t make it to your destination. But even more ominous is the prospect of a baggage handler introducing something into your luggage after it has been screened.

So Mr. or Mrs. TSA Baggage Screener, I implore you to do a better job of re-securing the locks on my luggage. It may seem like a small detail to you but it has great implications for all of us.

Sincerely,

H. Scharfschutze Sniper, Esq.